


Confusion

by btamamura



Series: TamaSou [2]
Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Established Relationship, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 23:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14295903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btamamura/pseuds/btamamura
Summary: Set a few years after the story began. Tamaki and Iori are no longer high school students.Tamaki had received news his biological father had died, but, due to his feelings towards the man, is confused as to how he should feel. Thankfully, his partner can help him see grief isn't one size fits all.





	Confusion

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own IDOLiSH7 or any canon characters featured in this. They are the property of their respective owners.
> 
> Notes: An idea that nagged at me hit hard enough to get me to write for a fandom I've been quietly following since I saw the first two episodes of the anime in January of this year. Sogo and Tamaki are my favourite characters, and I do like the idea of them forming a relationship after they'd completely solidified their partnership as MEZZO", so this is set a few years after the series first starts. As such, there is a spoiler for part 2 of the game mentioned. This also means that Tamaki and Iori are not 17, nor in school.
> 
> This story contains very slight TamaSou, meaning Tamaki and Sogo are in a romantic relationship. Tamaki is not a minor. If same-sex couples, or this pairing, aren't your cup of tea, then please leave now. There is also a brief language warning, Tamaki does swear.
> 
> Otherwise, I do hope you enjoy this!

"I'm home," Osaka Sogo called quietly as he entered the dorm he, and his unit-mates of _IDOLiSH7_ , called home. He'd been away on a solo job; Tamaki would've accompanied him, but he had other commitments. He let out a soft sigh. _It's good to be back home after a few days. I should take today to get some rest; Tamaki-kun and I are scheduled to appear on a variety show tomorrow evening._

Sogo put his belongings in his room, then went to the kitchen to prepare some lunch for himself. He knew the others had different jobs. As he entered the kitchenette, his eyes caught sight of a hastily-written note sitting atop the cooking bench.

**Sou, Tama received some news last night that had him shaken, so he's having the day off. Don't worry, Manager made sure to let them know of his absence. You should go talk to him, he's been holed up in his room since he got the news.  
\- Yamato**

Sogo frowned in concern, wondering what could've caused Tamaki to be so upset he'd be permitted to skip his work for a day. _What if something happened to Aya-chan...?_

Lunch could wait. Instead, he picked out one of Tamaki's _Ou-sama Pudding_ bottles and a spoon, before making his way to the bedrooms.

***

Sogo stood outside Tamaki's bedroom door. _Should I disturb him? He might be sleeping...well, I guess I can only find out._ He knocked twice. "Tamaki-kun, it's me. May I enter?"

There were a few seconds of silence before Tamaki's voice could be heard. "Sure, Sou-chan."

Sogo reached for the doorknob, opening the door quietly. He stepped into the room, closing the door after himself, then approached the bed. He saw Tamaki lying there, curled on his side and squeezing his plush of Ou-sama Pudding against his chest. He knelt by the bed.

"Welcome back."

He blinked twice in surprise before smiling tenderly. "Thank you." He held out the pudding bottle and spoon. "Here. Yamato-san left a note explaining you weren't doing so well, so I brought you this to try to help you feel better. I'm also willing to listen if you want to talk about it."

Tamaki sat up and accepted the pudding and spoon. "Thanks, Sou-chan." He patted a spot on the bed. "Sit here, the floor can't be comfy."

"In that case, I shall accept your invitation." He rose from the floor and sat beside Tamaki. He felt the younger boy rest his head against his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"Dunno. I wanna be, but 'm just confused."

"Confused?"

"Mm. Don't know how to respond to the news."

"It's not concerning Aya-chan, is it?"

"Nah, not about Aya. Last I heard, she's doin' alright."

"That's a relief."

"Actually, it's about _that bastard_."

"Oh, I see." Sogo immediately knew who Tamaki was referring to. The man responsible for Tamaki's family falling apart. The man who'd been brought back into his life as an unpleasant surprise for a TV special, which thankfully wasn't aired live. The man responsible for Tamaki's nightmares for a month following the unpleasant surprise reunion, and responsible for so many tears that Tamaki had shed in Sogo's arms.

"Liver failure. Can't say 'm surprised. The way he drank, it was somethin' I'd be more surprised if it didn't happen."

"Did they want you to be a donor?"

"Keh, even if they did, I'd have said _fuck that_. He died."

"Oh." Offering condolences for the loss of a man who wasn't worthy of them felt wrong, so Sogo didn't say more than that single utterance.

"That's why 'm confused. Should I be happy the bastard's gone? Should I be sad that he's dead? Is it wrong if I feel nothin'?" He opened the pudding and scooped some into his mouth.

"Grief isn't _one size fits all_. You shouldn't expect to feel any particular way about it. It'd be understandable if you feel relieved that you'll never have to run the risk of seeing him again. Being sad for the father you wish he could've been, or the father you may have known before he turned out to be a horrid person, that's not wrong either. Even being indifferent to his death is understandable, as he doesn't mean much to you anymore."

"Mm. If Okaa-san were here, I wonder how she'd feel? Because for her to have me 'n Aya with 'im, she must've loved 'im. But, he made her stressed and then she collapsed. And then..."

He wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Following his own collapse from stress and overwork, Tamaki had stayed with him and they'd shared about their families. Tamaki had told him how his mother had died after she'd collapsed.

"So, maybe she'd be relieved. Maybe...argh, it's all so damn confusing!"

"I know it is. You should let it come naturally instead of thinking too hard about it."

"Hmm..."

"However you respond to it, nobody will judge you. I surely won't."

"Thanks."

Sogo rubbed Tamaki's arm soothingly as the younger ate more of his pudding.

***

"I think I don't care."

"Hm?"

Tamaki was lying down again, using Sogo's lap as a pillow; Sogo gently patting his hair. "'Bout that bastard, I mean. I think I don't care he's dead. He left us, came back when it was convenient for 'im, scared Aya if he tried showin' 'is face. Honestly, he's nothin' to me anymore, other than a bad memory I'd rather forget."

"Then, that's fine. Do you feel a little better now that you're not as confused over it?"

"Yeah, a little. Kinda."

"That's alright. I won't pressure you to leave the room today if you don't wish to." He yawned. "Excuse me, I think the fatigue from the last few days is finally hitting me."

Tamaki snorted. "I didn't get much sleep anyway. Wanna take a nap?"

"Yes. I think that would be best."

Tamaki sat up. "Alright. Then, let's have a nap." He made room on the bed. "Come on, you lie down too."

"Huh? Ahh, wait, you meant we'll both have a nap here?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Ohh, it's...it's nothing. Alright, I'll stay here. But, we should try to wake up before the others return, alright?"

"'Kay." He lay down, then patted the spot beside him. "C'mon, Sou-chan."

He smiled in exasperation before lying beside the younger. He felt his partner wrap an arm around his shoulders.

"You normally say _no_ , so why this time?"

"Well, things have been different for the last couple of weeks, and we are home alone so there isn't much worry of being caught before we consider telling everyone else."

"Ah. Are you ashamed?"

"No, but relationships are taboo in this industry, so we just need to be cautious."

"Yeah, got it. Night, Sou-chan."

He gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead before closing his eyes. "Sleep well, Tamaki-kun."

***

Neither heard their unit-mates returning from their busy day.

Neither heard Yamato declare he'd go check on Tamaki and make sure he was faring alright.

Neither heard the door click open, but did stir at a loud exclamation.

Both woke to see Mitsuki, Nagi and Riku taking shots of them on their phones, Iori trying to hide the blush on his cheeks while murmuring _cute_ at the sight of the pair cuddled together like litter-mates and Yamato giving a cheeky grin.

"You should've told us there was more between you two than being partners in _MEZZO"_ ," Yamato remarked.

Tamaki frowned and held Sogo closer, while Sogo covered his head with the blankets.

"Feel better now, Tamaki?" Nagi asked as he pocketed his phone.

"Yeah, not as confused anymore. Sou-chan helped with that," Tamaki replied.

Sogo groaned and muttered about surely having to commit harakiri after being caught like that.

"Hey, take it easy, Sogo! We're all really happy for ya, and don't worry, we'll help ya keep it a secret! Of course, Manager will have to know so she can help with interventions," Mitsuki reassured.

Iori cleared his throat. "Anyway, Yotsuba-san, I brought back the script from the drama we're to appear in. Maybe Osaka-san can help you with it."

" _Oh_ , nice distraction!" Nagi cheered with a thumbs-up.

"Your absence from the meeting was forgiven this time, but you've been warned to not make a habit of it."

"Right, come on, everyone, let's leave them be! I'm gonna get dinner started! Nagi, you can help me!" Mitsuki started pushing everyone else out of the room.

Once the door had been closed, after Riku's very brief _congrats!_ , Sogo emerged from under the covers.

"Sorry. I guess we slept too long..." Tamaki murmured.

"It could've been worse. They could've caught us in a more embarrassing situation, so I'm thankful it was only an innocent nap."

"At least they're okay with it."

"Yes, though I'd rather they'd found out by us telling them. Oh well, it can't be helped."

"...Sou-chan, are you mad at me?"

"Hm? Oh, of course not!" He sat up and wrapped his arms around Tamaki. "I'm a little embarrassed about being caught out, but I'm not mad about it. Mitsuki-san was right in that Manager does have to know about our relationship, so we'll have to make time to tell her about it."

"Hey, Sou-chan?"

"Yes?"

He kissed his cheek. "Thanks for earlier."

"I wouldn't have been a good partner if I hadn't tried to help."

"Can you help with my script revision too?"

"Certainly." 

"Wonder what Mikki's cooking for dinner..."

"Maybe we should get up and find out."

"Mm! By the way, it is a good thing they know now."

"Why's that?"

"Now we can cuddle in the main room without you needin' to be tipsy first!" Tamaki grinned.

Sogo chuckled. "Fair enough."

**Author's Note:**

> After-notes: I do intend on writing about how Tamaki and Sogo got together, and there will also be when they inform Tsumugi and Otoharu about their relationship, but for now, I hope you enjoyed this short story.
> 
> I honestly felt like if Tamaki's biological father did die, there would be confusion as to how he should feel about it. Tamaki's a good kid, so he'd be wondering if it'd be weird if he was happy, or not sad, or barely gives a care about it at all.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I won't ask for a review, but if you do wish to say something, please don't flame.


End file.
